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Two Copper Coins

March 21, 2016

She put in two small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.

I heard this in church yesterday, and it brought me to tears. I hid behind my hair so no one would notice. (This big hair of mine serves many purposes!)

Mark 12:41-44

“Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.

Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, ‘I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything- all she had to live on.’”

I’ve been feeling very inadequate lately, especially as a writer. I feel like I don’t have anything of value to write about. I feel like there are millions of authors and bloggers that have more to say, more experience, and a bigger audience. And I struggle with fear that I’m just not good enough.

I’ve been reminding myself that I was certain it was God who asked me to start a blog. I’ve been reminding myself that people have said something I wrote helped them. I’ve been reminding myself of this verse, Ephesians 2:10: “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

But I’ve still been scared. And fretful. And embarrassed. I think maybe I just can’t do this writing thing, because I just don’t have anything important enough to write. I think the enemy wants me to be paralyzed by fear and self-doubt. I compare myself to all my favorite authors, (Jennie Allen, Jen Hatmaker, Beth Moore, Lysa Terkeurst), and I just feel so small and useless. Why not leave writing to people who are actually good at it and who know what they’re doing??

But this quote by Theodore Roosevelt has been coming to mind lately: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

I know that it isn’t helpful to compare our lives to others who seem to be more gifted and more influential. God has beautiful plans for each one of us. If we walk with Him and obey, He will fulfill whatever plans HE has chosen for us. I must let go of what I think a successful writer looks like.

The past couple of days I’ve been telling God that if I would have anything valuable to say, it will have to come from Him. As always.

And then yesterday I heard this: “But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a fraction of a penny.” And God was pleased with her.

And I thought, “That’s me.” I may not have the most astounding, life-changing, important things to write about. But I still want to write. Because it’s what God planted in my heart. It’s my offering. And it may be tiny, but that makes it very precious to Him. Because it’s all I have to give.

My friend, could you be the poor woman with the two small coins too? You may not be the most talented, the most influential, or the most inspiring in your abilities, but that does not make your offering to the Lord and to the world less valuable. God was the one who gifted you with your specific talents and experiences. He just wants us to offer whatever we have back to Him, no matter how small. When you say a kind word, it’s an offering. When you solve a problem at work, it’s an offering. When you make one of your students smile when you know she’s facing some hardships at home, it’s an offering. When you hold the hand of a sick patient, it’s an offering. When you choose patience instead of irritation, (with anyone!), it’s an offering. When you repair an appliance or a vehicle, for your own family or for a client, it’s an offering. When you respond to a call from work when you’d really rather just be home with your family, it’s an offering.

There is no gift too small. He is pleased with just two small coins.

And that's like a balm to my fretful soul.

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