She Unfriended Me

October 10, 2017

When I went to her Facebook profile, I spotted it: Add Friend. With a sinking feeling in my gut, I realized she had Unfriended me.

I immediately tried to guess reasons why she Unfriended me. Was she angry with me because we had grown apart? Was she annoyed by my posts? Was she afraid that my faith makes me judgmental? I had no idea. For the next 24 hours, rejection and self-doubt plagued me.

Then I decided to take my thoughts captive instead. "...and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5).

As a follower of Christ, I know that my self-worth comes from God alone. He is my Creator. He is my Redeemer. He calls me His friend. There will always be people who disagree with me or even dislike me. But my goal is not to please men, but to please God who tests our hearts. In order to be free of the torment of trying to measure up to the expectations of others, I must choose to cling to God’s truths when the storms of insecurity try to beat against my house.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” Matthew 7:24-27 (NIV)

Like the wise man who built his house on the rock, I will be a wise woman who builds my self-worth and identity on the truths of God’s Word. I will not base my self-worth on things of this world. I will not build my house upon the sand.

Things that I will not base my value upon:

-how many Facebook friends I have

-how many “Likes” I get on my posts

-how many times I’m included in girls nights out

-the way my physical appearance compares to other women, including my weight and my clothes

-how well my house is kept/how nice my home is

-how often I get to go on vacations compared to other women I know

Things that I will base my value upon:

-I am a child of God (John 1:12)

-I am tenderly loved by God (Jeremiah 31:3)

-I am completely forgiven (Colossians 1:14)

-I am Christ’s friend (John 15:5)

-I am chosen by God, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12)

-God knew me before I was even formed in my mother’s womb (Jeremiah 1:5)

-I am God’s workmanship, created to do good works for His kingdom (Ephesians 2:10)

-He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion (Philippians 1:6)

All of these beautiful truths don’t mean that I won’t feel rejection or disappointment when people don’t like me, or when I get “Unfriended.” The passage from Matthew 7, about the wise man building his house on the rock, says that the storms will indeed come. I just want my house, my heart, and my self-worth to stand firm on the rock of Christ’s love, in spite of the worldly winds of insult and rejection swirling around me.

I’m reminded of a line from a precious old hymn, “My Hope is Built on Nothing Less,” written in 1834 by Edward Mote.

…on Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;

all other ground is sinking sand,

all other ground is sinking sand.